So, i'm addicted to reading blogs and getting small, or sometimes large, glimpses into the lives of other people on this journey called life. I was reading a page of a woman who buried her four year old daughter 9 months ago. She was talking about how when she was sick...she wished more than anything to go back to the days when she was well. Now that she is gone, she would give anything just to go back to whenever. Even those long days and nights of caring for a child with a brain tumor. She had a message from a friend, whose young daughter Isabella is battling leukemia. She was in a store when she overheard a conversation behind her. I read this tonight after having a CRAZY day with my kids. I had math homework to finish today. I missed school all last week to be in Illinois. I had quite a bit to do, and had a test tonight that I was trying to prepare for. My son woke up this morning and decided that he needed his momma today. I spent THE ENTIRE DAY carrying him around while he lay his head on my shoulder. This child is rarely still and ALWAYS wants down from my arms to explore the world around him. I was extremely frustrated and after twenty minutes of him ripping papers and pencils out of my hand, I gave up on homework and turned in what I had completed. When I left for school, he was eating dinner in a very nasty shirt(no bib for him, he screamed until I took it off), the house was a TOTAL disaster from the day, courtesy of Bella Boo!!! To be compltely honest, I hadn't even brushed my teeth=) I did make time to call two friends today...in the middle of preparing meals for my lovely babies! But, tonight, my test was done, homework turned in, house cleaned up, I sat down to take a break at my computer and the Lord revealed to me, my day was one of great joy. Thank you Lord for these precious fleeting moments. They are but a vapor!
Please read this short post and be so thankful for your healthy babies. Life is really short and so unpredictable. I pray I NEVER walk the journey of these faithful warriors. I also pray that while i have my children, healthy in the present that I will spend everyday loving them and being grateful for whatever form of life i'm living in that moment.
Shoes
While shopping for a new pair of summer sandals for Isabella (she has outgrown her other ones since we’ve been here. Actually, she is growing like a weed), I over hear a woman talking about another child’s shoes. She mentions that she wished her kids could keep their shoes so clean. I politely smiled all the while silently thinking, get down on your knees and thank the Lord your children are able to get their shoes dirty. What I wouldn’t give for Isabella’s shoes to be filthy. Why? Because that would mean she could play like normal kids, she could get dirty and not worry about her counts, not worry about potential life-threatening bacteria … just play. Then I realized I needed to get down on my knees and thank the Lord. I know there are countless parents out there who would give anything to have their children’s shoes be “clean” because that would mean they are still here, instead they have been taken from this earth. Cancer changes everything. Even the way you look at shoes.When you finish reading this take a moment and go look at your children's shoes and say a prayer of Thanksgiving for them. For "clean & white" shoes, filthy shoes, outgrown shoes, and to grow into shoes. Give thanks for your children's need for shoes.
Tuesday, November 25, 2008
Sunday, November 9, 2008
A New Chapter
So, this blog hasn't been exactly what I thought it was going to be. I thought I would blog way more than I do. With that being said, lately life for me the has been really hard. Blogging hasn't been one of my priorities. I have really been struggling with some things. First of all...I let guilt creep in. That will be one of my life-long struggles. But, 1 John 1:9 says "If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness." So, me worry about things I'm already forgiven for is silly and a waste of my time. Anyway....i'm over that for now=)
I have also been having some struggles with my precious hubby. Let me preface this all by saying, I am married to AN INCREDIBLE guy. I really am. He is such a hard worker and works so hard so I can be at home with my kids. He is unbelievably kind to other people. He would never allow my friends, or his for that matter, to know that he was in a bad mood. I never have to feel uncomfortable b/c he's rude to my friends....he makes everyone feel at home when they are with our family. He is an awesome father and takes great care of his kids. He bathes them ALOT...and he tucks them in, more than me actually. He's not out at bars or running around. When he is not working...he's with us. He really is awesome and I don't want anyone to think I am down on him. Life is just hard sometimes. We are struggling with things that lots of married couples struggle with. But, its been very hard for me and I have felt very helpless where alot of our issues are concerned.So, a couple of weeks ago, I was at a friends house and ended up with a free entry to a marriage conference. They paid for our registration and our room at a really nice Mariott in kingsport, about 40 minutes from our house. Honestly, I was really excited to go. It is a christian conference, called a Weekend to Remember. I was so excited for the chance to be away with my husband, with no distraction, and to learn ways to continue building a strong marriage that lasts. I felt like God was throwing us a life raft.
I met him there on friday night and we got home this afternoon about 2. The weekend was great. Being alone with him was awesome. We reconnected...something that has needed to happen for a very long time. We also learned alot. We spent lots of time talking...which I love to do, especially with him. We had homebuilding projects that we completed alone in our room. We answered questions separately, then discussed them together when we were done. It opened up alot of conversation for us, which we REALLY needed. There was alot of information given to us this weekend, but here are the things that are really sticking out the most in my mind. Some of them I already knew, but definitely don't always practice and really needed to hear them again.
*I am not the Holy Spirit in my husband's life and nagging him doesn't bring him closer to the Lord.=)
*My husband should be my first priority, even over my kids.
*I don't need to vocalize everytime I become offended.(this is super hard for me....but, not everything is worth fighting over and the sooner I learn this....the less arguing there will be)
*Seek forgiveness, not apologies.
*I do not need to walk away from the weekend expecting a perfect marriage, or family, I need to just live MY own life in a way thats pleasing to the Lord. If I do this...everything else will be ok.
*Forgive offenses....God has forgiven me billions more time than He will ever ask me to forgive. Lack of forgiveness creates bitterness in a person's life and is sinful. They actually told a story about a man that reunited with his wife after her imprisonement for soliciting someone to murder him. If he can forgive that...we can forgive anything.
*Love my husband, cover him with blessing
*It takes just as much blood to cover my sins as it does to cover the sins of a mass murderer. (not marriage related...but equally great)
*There are lots of people wanting to date my spouse...I should date him before someone else tries to.
*Every 28 seconds someone divorces.
*I am not responsible for my husbands behavior or choices...I am however responsible for my own.
I really feel encouraged by our weekend together. I feel like there are so many things I need to work on. I need to spend more time loving him and less time criticizing. His relationship with the Lord, or anyone else's for that matter, is not my responsibility and who am I to judge him. My critical spirit definitely wasnt driving him in God's direction.
What I did learn this weekend is that I ADORE him and we have so much fun together. He makes me laugh like noone else in my life. We have created history together, and four beautiful children, and its takes such a long time to build that. I want to work at it and make it right. I don't want to coexist. I want us to love being together. To be best friends again. We promised each other today that we were going to start fresh and be more encouraging toward one another. Its not going to be perfect, because we aren't perfect, but it can be great, and fun, and thats ultimately what we desire. God meant for this to be great...and thats what I want.
And so begins a new chapter..... So Stay Tuned!!!
I have also been having some struggles with my precious hubby. Let me preface this all by saying, I am married to AN INCREDIBLE guy. I really am. He is such a hard worker and works so hard so I can be at home with my kids. He is unbelievably kind to other people. He would never allow my friends, or his for that matter, to know that he was in a bad mood. I never have to feel uncomfortable b/c he's rude to my friends....he makes everyone feel at home when they are with our family. He is an awesome father and takes great care of his kids. He bathes them ALOT...and he tucks them in, more than me actually. He's not out at bars or running around. When he is not working...he's with us. He really is awesome and I don't want anyone to think I am down on him. Life is just hard sometimes. We are struggling with things that lots of married couples struggle with. But, its been very hard for me and I have felt very helpless where alot of our issues are concerned.So, a couple of weeks ago, I was at a friends house and ended up with a free entry to a marriage conference. They paid for our registration and our room at a really nice Mariott in kingsport, about 40 minutes from our house. Honestly, I was really excited to go. It is a christian conference, called a Weekend to Remember. I was so excited for the chance to be away with my husband, with no distraction, and to learn ways to continue building a strong marriage that lasts. I felt like God was throwing us a life raft.
I met him there on friday night and we got home this afternoon about 2. The weekend was great. Being alone with him was awesome. We reconnected...something that has needed to happen for a very long time. We also learned alot. We spent lots of time talking...which I love to do, especially with him. We had homebuilding projects that we completed alone in our room. We answered questions separately, then discussed them together when we were done. It opened up alot of conversation for us, which we REALLY needed. There was alot of information given to us this weekend, but here are the things that are really sticking out the most in my mind. Some of them I already knew, but definitely don't always practice and really needed to hear them again.
*I am not the Holy Spirit in my husband's life and nagging him doesn't bring him closer to the Lord.=)
*My husband should be my first priority, even over my kids.
*I don't need to vocalize everytime I become offended.(this is super hard for me....but, not everything is worth fighting over and the sooner I learn this....the less arguing there will be)
*Seek forgiveness, not apologies.
*I do not need to walk away from the weekend expecting a perfect marriage, or family, I need to just live MY own life in a way thats pleasing to the Lord. If I do this...everything else will be ok.
*Forgive offenses....God has forgiven me billions more time than He will ever ask me to forgive. Lack of forgiveness creates bitterness in a person's life and is sinful. They actually told a story about a man that reunited with his wife after her imprisonement for soliciting someone to murder him. If he can forgive that...we can forgive anything.
*Love my husband, cover him with blessing
*It takes just as much blood to cover my sins as it does to cover the sins of a mass murderer. (not marriage related...but equally great)
*There are lots of people wanting to date my spouse...I should date him before someone else tries to.
*Every 28 seconds someone divorces.
*I am not responsible for my husbands behavior or choices...I am however responsible for my own.
I really feel encouraged by our weekend together. I feel like there are so many things I need to work on. I need to spend more time loving him and less time criticizing. His relationship with the Lord, or anyone else's for that matter, is not my responsibility and who am I to judge him. My critical spirit definitely wasnt driving him in God's direction.
What I did learn this weekend is that I ADORE him and we have so much fun together. He makes me laugh like noone else in my life. We have created history together, and four beautiful children, and its takes such a long time to build that. I want to work at it and make it right. I don't want to coexist. I want us to love being together. To be best friends again. We promised each other today that we were going to start fresh and be more encouraging toward one another. Its not going to be perfect, because we aren't perfect, but it can be great, and fun, and thats ultimately what we desire. God meant for this to be great...and thats what I want.
And so begins a new chapter..... So Stay Tuned!!!
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